Bus Blog

There are crazy people on the bus. Hopefully people aren't looking at me the same thing. I hate the bus. Hate it. I like driving. However I don't like to pay $28 to park downtown for 4 hours when I will prob be lucky to make $50 in those 4 hours.

Jake is being lovely and being my chauffeur for the next two weeks. Unfortunately he is not lovely at all and will only drive me to the bus stop and not all the way downtown.

I'm hoping during his two weeks off he decides to clean and organize the entire house. It would actually take two weeks since he only has one working hand. And it's his left hand.

The other day I decided I needed to organize the beautiful dresser jake made




That's a 50 inch tv on top of it. The dresser is huge. I've decided it's a good place to store random crap. Shoes, bills, books. Anything but clothes. So I emptied out the drawers filled w crap



Then I decided to leave. Then I got home and organized everything. jk. I rolled it all up into a ball and dumped it in the guest room. That was three days ago. Now I have two rooms to organize

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Broken Jake

Surgery is scheduled for October 12. That's basically a month and a half away. I think. I actually have no idea what the date is today. We might be in September already. Hmm. I like having a job where days and dates don't matter. I also like the non stress of not managing. I haven't been this relaxed in years.

I should be absolutely freaking out. Jake can't work for the next 2 weeks because of his recent hand surgery. And in a month and a half he won't be able to work for 6 months. No clue how I will be able to support us for 6 months. Will I have to give up buying nail polish daily? WILL I HAVE TO GIVE UP STARBUCKS?????????

I need to find another job. Or a second job I should say. I do quite love working at Bridge House Tavern. It's lovely. Aren't there any jobs where I get to keep my clothes on where I can make like $400 a night? Like 6 days a week? I know there are. I've made that before. Help.

I told Jake he has to become a phone sex operator. He has a hot voice. He needs to do something so he isn't bored for 6 months.

Hello please be my friend.

Jen Lancaster. I am obsessed. I read Bitter is the New Black almost a year ago and I'm a little bit confused on why I didn't keep reading her other books. They're literally hysterical. I was laughing so hard my stomach hurt while reading Bright Lights, Big Ass.

Now I have to spend the rest of the weekend reading the rest of her books and blog. Luckily since I have no life and read faster than any human, this should take approximately 13 minutes.

Thank you Jen for inspiring me to finally write again. I need to update my diary. I'm trying to put the entire thing in order. So it's more of a story. Unfortunately while 9 year old Kelly was quite funny, I was also quite boring. And I also wrote mean things sometimes that I won't ever put online. Not that anyone I wrote mean things about would ever read it because honestly, I don't even know if they are alive....but still. I hate being mean. Jake is judgemental enough for the both of us.

Now everyone subscribe to this blog because I will post on it 7 times a day and will learn how to write again (just wrote right. Not a good start) and I will be very funny. 


P.S. Soon I will be 30. 30!!!!!!!!!!!!! on 11-11-11. Hopefully it's as wild as my 29th.

Two timing parents

I've just busted my mother. I text her letting her know that the first minute of real housewives of jersey was insane. She let me know I am NOT ALLOWED TO WATCH IT WITHOUT HER. So I asked if she wanted to come over. It is 8:30 which is literally my parents bedtime. She wrote back "i'll come in 15 when dad goes to bed"

What is that???? How can she deceive my dad like that?


My gosh I am so excited she is sneaking around because this season is by far the best season I've seen of ANYTHING. I think that that is my fate. me and jake against my bro and his awesome gf.. and against our dad. But according to rhnj, we win. So i'm fine. As long as I win I am fine with any outcome.

I used to be a sickly child. I was a freshman in high school and missed like 80 days of school (who knew being awesome was a sickness). I missed many a friday night to be sick in bed and have my mom come in my room and hang out and watch Boy Meets World With Me. Actually all of TGIF but that one sticks out the most. I still love that. If Boy Meets World was still on I'd watch it with mi madre every Friday night (unless she was busy. She is way more popular than I am).

Bottom line, watching TV with your mom is fun. Prob more fun than anyone else had tonight. FACT

JTT

One fall day sometime in 7th grade my mother woke me up to tell me we were going to a meet and greet. Who was this amazing meet and greet with? Ooh just



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JTT

Not an actual diary entry but prob my most prized possession of those years.


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I think I'm terrified

I leave a week from today to start my new job training. I will be a manager at a restaurant. In order to be a manager at this restaurant I have to go to Dallas for 5 weeks. In order to become a manager at Cubby Bear they said "do you want to be a manager?" i said "yes" That is the end of the story.

I am beyond excited for this job. I have been so bored forever. But months and months and honestly prob years ago Jake and I decided we wouldn't do this long distance crap again. The first few years we dated we figured it out that we saw each other a total of 3 months in like two years. I said I'd never do it again.

The weird thing is it's not for Jakes job, it's for mine. I am the one that is leaving him. He has to stay and guard Haylie dog. He has to pay our bills. He has to buy the groceries. I am the one that will live out of hotels.

I really can't compare my new job with his life on the road. It isn't even comparable. I won't be in a new city every night. I won't be fighting off the sluts (I'm assuming he did. With a bat. He is way hot. If not I will go back and hit him with a bat).

I will be in a nice hotel for 5 weeks. Actually two hotels due to the Superbowl. Even though I really don't care about football it would be way cool to live in Dallas if the Bears were in the superbowl and the superbowl is in Dallas. I'm assuming some people I know will be there.

Originally Jake had to visit me once. I thought I'd be gone for 4 weeks. But if it's 5 weeks, he will visit me at least twice (and maybe more if he wants to drive his ass to Texas).

So in conclusion, this is what we used to look like

That hair is the most embarrassing part of my life EVER

 Eyeliner contest

 I'm still ok with this and always will be

Things changed a little