Hello internet!

I've had a lot of my fans faxing me and telling me they'd like me to start logging again.  Oops. Now do I corrrct that or do I just change tactics. I was going to start blogging again but life has decided it has other options for me. So a logging I shall go. See you soon.

Xoxo. Gossip girl.

The Five Stages of Grief (about having to wake up with the baby)

1. Denial and Isolation

NO NO NO NO NO. Was that a cry I just heard? Didn't I just fall asleep? I just changed her two hours ago. How does she need me to feed and change her already? Let's try sticking this pacifier in her mouth. Maybe that will trick her. No? Now what?  

 2. Anger

This is effing stupid. I hate waking up. Why can't she feed herself? She's almost 3 and a half months. I can sleep through the night without waking up to eat. Why can't she? Ok sometimes I have to raid the fridge but string cheese sounds awesome at 4am.

 3. Bargaining

 "OK Jake, you change her this time and I promise I"ll get up with her the next five times. I'll get up with her every time she wakes up for the next two weeks if you just get up this time"

4. Depression

 Ugh. My life sucks. Why don't I get to sleep for 12 hours anymore?  Why am I not richer? I could afford a nanny and she (or he) could get up with her.

 5. Acceptance

 Eh I'm not that tired anyway. Sleep is overrated. Ok, I'll do this. I can catch up on Buzzfeed while I feed her. She only eats for five minutes anyway. I can have her fed, changed, and back asleep within 10 minutes. This isn't so bad.

There's also an unknown 6th step

6. Manipulation

Fake sleep and let the husband deal with it. 

 

 

Let's see if I can figure this out

Haven't used this in quite some time. I went over to Tumblr for awhile but the only thing that's good for is looking at pictures of Bane. 

So now I will try to find a normal layout and I will try to think of things to say.

Stupid Hospitals

So Jake had the spinal fusion on Weds. It went marvelously. The doctor couldn't believe how deteriorated his spine was. He was surprised he wasn't in more pain. I'm not exactly sure how the procedure went but I know that he now has cadaver bone in his spine. His family didn't think it was funny when right before the surgery I said "Hopefully the guy didn't die while getting spine surgery."

I had obviously been so nervous for months before the surgery but after seeing the doctor once it was done, I was the happiest lady alive. The doctor was so confident in everything. I just felt great. It was a good two hours before I saw Jake again and became the saddest lady alive.

He has had this terrible pain since January. No one knows what caused it. They're assuming some childhood injury started it. So after doing therapy, getting a few epidurals, getting millions of tests, they had to up his pain meds. Started on one med, switched to a much stronger one, and it just went up and up. For the last two months he has been on some of the strongest drugs there are. And also some of the drugs with the worst stigmas attached.

So the lovely hospital decides to give him like 1/10th of the amount of meds he takes at home. So to say the kid was in the most terrible pain ever is an understatement. I do like to exaggerate but trust me when I say he was way over a 10 on that awkward 1-10 pain scale with all the weird faces that I thought was for children but apparently is for adults too.

I understand the hospital doesn't want to kill him and that there was nothing the nurses could have done without the doctors approval and am happy they were there to help but I literally hated  everyone. It's the hospitals job to at least keep you comfortable. He had a spinal fusion. He should have obviously been in pain. But in such bad pain you're almost brought to tears for two days straight? He slept for maybe 20 minutes the entire time we were there. Bring him down under a 10.

It was seriously the worst thing I've ever seen. What do you do when people are in that much pain? It was even hard for me to make inappropriate jokes (but I still managed to come through).

We are home now. Life is lovely. He is still in terrible pain but nowhere near what he was in a few days ago. I know it's all worth it though. It was an inevidable surgery. I'd rather him do it now that have him do it in another 5 years when we have 9 children running around (octomom who?)

hotness

I am pretty sure my day started off with a nice sunburn. Or maybe it ended with one. My face is hot. We just got back from the lake. I'm pretty sure if they invent an SPF 1000000 it still won't be strong enough for me irish potato head.

apparently Jake doesn't like when I wear red lipstick. Even though my teeth are ridiculously white right now (what up Crest 3D strip thingys). Since other people do, I have decided to ignore what Jake thinks. Not like it matters if he thinks I'm hot, we are already married.

I'm still a little annoyed I'm not at kesha. I was hoping he would surprise me with tickets. Instead he surprised me by not getting tickets. Oh well

Book

Finally got the inspiration for my book. Very excited. Now just need the inspiration to write it. Maybe in a couple years....



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Groupon goe$ down and make$ me $ad (pic$)

My mom gets the award for coolest present (didn't know it was a contest did you?)

She said she knew I would like to have a cover of just myself but was nice enough to realize I was too fat and added Jake to the pic. I am obsessed with it. I can't wait until more people see it and tell me how cool I am. Then they can ask where my mom got it and I can tell them I have absolutely no idea. Because I have absolutely no idea.

Everyday I check Groupon (and every site that is like it). Midnight is usually my favorite part of the day. It's when all the deals switch. I check them to see what I will not be buying that day. Or check to see what I will be buying and then never using. A few months before Ke$ha (wow do I feel like an idiot writing it that way) had her show here, Groupon had some deal where you could get tickets for way cheaper. While I debated on buying it (this is before I knew LMFAO was going to be there too), it sold out. I was not pleased with my decision.

Luckily she will be in Seattle when we are there. I also check Seattles site all the time since we go so much. The show is a week from Saturday and still no discounted tickets. What's going on Seattle?? Yesterday my Groupon app didn't work. When it finally did, I checked out Seattle.............

 w.t.f.

On a more pleasant note I fit into the dress I wore to our Seattle reception. Haven't fit into that in years. That might not be a true statement since I also haven't tried it on in years. (see how the dresser behind me is still dirty?)

Oh while I was writing this my second favorite part of the day happened. The mail came and Haylie freaked the F out. She protected our house from the evil mail. She does this every day. Since no one ever comes into our house when the mail person comes, I bet she is very proud of herself for stopping them. I do tend to miss out on important info though.

(Jake's hairy leg, not my hairy leg)